Diary of a Fat Girl in Covid-19 Lockdown: Part 2

It’s been 43 days since my husband and I went into lockdown in Bristol, UK. The UK will reevaluate on May 7 but I predict it will be extended once more. The sun is out but it’s not shinning. In fact, it’s a little misty with rain clouds on the horizon. I’m in bed, listening to Lizzo, drinking cold coffee with oat milk, and wearing my PJs.

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Ain’t that the truth 👌 Especially on a rainy Saturday and there’s Real Housewives to catch up on, coffee to be drunk and the apartment is clean as F**k because I feel like that’s all I do anymore. Since losing all my contracts (thanks again #Covid), it’s been up and downs as I figure out my new but hopefully temporary role in the business and life. I’m honestly getting into a routine and vibing it (for now). I’m also helping build websites and code which I haven’t done since MySpace days but it helps Sean and I like the basics. All things consider I have more better days then not and I consider that a win during these weird times. I hope you all are feeling the wins too, no matter what they are or how seemingly insignificant it might seem to others. It’s yours. Okay, off my word pedestal and back to #RHONY 💓 📷 by @artsyaffirmations

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A lot has changed yet nothing really at all since I sat down to write my last entry for this series (read it here). The big update is that I got two new clients, which has me feeling really happy and good! I have more positive days than negative. In some weird way, I feel as if I might be thriving a little during all this. Is that bad? I feel as if I have a bit more control in my mental health with the expectations being all over the place for the world. I think it is in part very early on I accepted that for the foreseeable future this is the reality.

That being said, I can’t wait for this to be over. I just want to hug anyone and everyone that wants to be hugged.

I think that is the hardest part. I enjoy human contact and interactions. I like having people over and cooking a meal. Making sure their glass is never empty and that they leave with a full stomach. Instead, we have Zoom quiz nights and catch-ups which are fun but I miss the hugs and the actual physical part of hosting and being around people.

Sean and I are putting getting to the final stages of getting our apartment exactly where we want it to be. I did a DIY project which is CRAZY as I am not much of a crafty person. I want to be, but my projects rarely end up looking even remotely what it should. I bought a glue gun and some twine and MADE a lampshade. It took me a long time and my back was hella sore but as Sean says it will be the embarrassing tale that our future kids will tell. “Oh that strange lampshade? Our mom made that during the Covid Lockdown and won’t let us throw it away.” Insert rolling eyes from said future hypothetical kid.

If I am being totally honest, I’m not feeling 100% myself as I write this. I think my period is coming early which is TOTAL BS. Periods should be canceled during pandemics. How rude?! But also, Sean and I had a bit of a moment last night, over a salad. It goes to show, no matter how much you love a person and adore them. Spending ALL your time together in a 1 bedroom will get to you. We are fine and it was silly but I feel a bit emotionally spent from it. It is a combination of things. He went for a run and I watched Real Housewives but we fell asleep in each other’s arms.

For a few of us, the lockdown is now impacting us differently. Realities are setting in and even the strongest of people are reaching their limit. I have to remind myself to be more patient and kind to not just myself but others. We are all at different parts of this lockdown and reality. Especially depending on the country.

I had a Zoom call with people from my Middle and High School days and we are all over the world in different industries. I could see the stress in some of their eyes as they deal with this. How it impacts them and their businesses. Some have lost their jobs, others haven’t been impacted at all. Some are surgeons and doctors. It was SO weird I won’t lie. For some of these people, I haven’t thought about them in years or talked with others. It was a weird and nice connection to have during these unusual times.

I connected with a younger me and some of the emotions I had then. I really enjoyed High School, I was a lucky one but also had a lot of things to work through during those years. I think it was a bit of a trigger … Hmm, maybe that’s why a salad argument was had…

Anyways, I think that is it for now. Next time, I wanna share some of the recipes I’ve been loving and using during these lockdown times because Ya girl loves to eat just as much as she loves to cook.

Before I stop writing. I want to ask: How are you? How are YOU doing? What have you been doing?

P.S. Know that I am here for you. Feel free to get in touch and follow me on Instagram. My DM is always open for a friend.

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