Welcome to the second installment of our Big FAT Love Series! The goal of this new section is to normalize fat sex, love, dating, and everything in between. Today’s story was anonymously submitted by a Fat Girls Traveling Member. If you’d like to submit a love story for this section or pitch a general story email us here.
The other goal with sharing this story is to help destigmatize sex work. Sex work is real work! Learn more about decriminalizing sex work here. As always, this is just another tool to help begin the conversation. We will continue to learn, grow, and do the work that helps humanize us all.
Tell us about you. How old are you? What do you do for work?
I am a Technical Product Specialist and Project Manager at a large Fortune 100 tech company. I’ve been in the tech industry for well over a decade, in a variety of roles, from New York to Silicon Valley.
What inspired you to hire an escort?
It started out as a joke originally. When I turned 30 years old, I had a conversation with a friend, and at that time I was just getting out of a long term relationship. I didn’t know what the future held at that point, whether or not I would be in a new relationship or not, or if I’d be married. Out of that conversation came the idea that if I was still single at 40, I would really consider it. Fast forward 10 years, the beginning of my 40th birthday year, and boom! That idea comes back to mind after doing a soul check – where I was in my career, relationships, and general life. I wanted to celebrate my 40th birthday in a way that was not just “go to the club” or “crazy wild party” because I had passed that point in my life. I figured now is the time to take the chances I had not taken before because I was either too busy, too preoccupied in a relationship or just didn’t have the guts to do.
Can you explain the process? How’d you find him? How did you contact him? What could someone hiring an escort for the first time expect?
I started doing research. I had in the past few years seen a show on a cable network about “gigolos” and their services based out of Las Vegas. While that show is WILD and sensational, I wasn’t really looking for that type of experience necessarily. I started with Las Vegas as a base because if there was anywhere I’d be able to find a service that was legit, it would be there. I started looking for escorts, catering to women.
Was it difficult finding a male escort?
It was hard to choose! I didn’t want to go with “my type” as far as what I consider to be someone I could realistically date in real life. Also wanted to find someone I found attractive, which based on my preferences is harder than I imagined it would be based on the selection.
What was his name?
His name was Bruce on the site, but that ended up not being his real name.
Where did you find your escort?
I searched on a few sites – one that came to the forefront for me was Fantasy.date (that’s the site) and I had come across them based on their Exotic Dancing and Topless Butler service.
What were the options? Websites? Types of guys?
There are a variety of sites and guys. The two I focused on was the site Cowboys 4 Angels (the one mentioned on the TV show) and Fantasy.Date. Most of the guys are muscular build, some with tattoos, or long hair, athletic, from bad boy to Rico Suave.
What was the cost?
The prices are set by the escorts in conjunction with their agencies. The prices range from $200 to $1200 per hour, depending on the guy.
What did he look like?
My date was athletic, his photos were sweet and charming, as well as a few poses that were classic sexy (shirtless with woman’s hands holding a rose)
What did he wear on your date?
He wore a pressed white shirt, black pants, and comfy shoes (those toe walkers – which made me laugh actually)
Was he your “type”?
Yes and No. Yes in that I found him attractive, but he was what I would call my “old” type (super athletic)
What did you do on your date?
Started out getting a couples massage followed by a little spa time in a private spa room (with sauna, jacuzzi, steam room and shower). Afterward, we went for a quick drive around the strip followed by dinner at a really chill Indian restaurant. After dinner we retired to my suite, just to digest and relax.
How long was the date?
I booked four hours, ended up spending five because I booked the spa time, he met me earlier than we originally planned)
Did things get physical?
Hahaha no, not in that sense. We massaged each others hands/arms while talking in my hotel room. We really just had a great conversation and easy going connection.
How was your date with an escort different than a date with any other man?
There was ZERO pressure to “be someone else” on MY end. I feel like when I go out on a date with someone there’s all this pressure to be either a super demure woman, or I’m seen as too intimating because of what I do for a living. I felt I was paying for a very specific experience, and the difference was I knew exactly what I was going into and what I was hoping to get out of it, which I got.
Was it worth it?
To me it was worth the experience. Considering how much stress goes into trying to set up dates and get together and the pressures of sex, this was the least pressure I’ve felt in a long time. It was so nice to have someone defer to me, treat me like a lady, not worry about what I make, how busy my work schedule is, why I’m not able to drop my life to cater to them. To have someone cater to you – and know they’re not expecting a specific “outcome” is so freeing.
Would you hire him again?
I actually would hire him again. I had a really good time.
Would you hire another escort?
I’m not sure. I think maybe I would try a different flavor, but we’ll see what the future holds.